I love early morning. It is quiet, and people are leaving for work, or whatever it is they do for the day. It is my time for reflection. There are no demands being made on
me, and those dirty dishes from last night’s supper are not beckoning. It is when I write usually in the silence with the only noise being the birds talking to one another. But, no, not today. I got up at 6:15 (I could swear the clock said 6:45, but when you have a cat sitting on you staring while you sleep, the numbers get fuzzy). Here I am at 7:00 am having read some posts on the blogs I follow when out lurches a barely awake husband.
Oh no! There goes my quiet time, my “me” time, the chunk of time where I am not playing computer tech, getting chastised for something he perceives of as a wrongful action directed at him. You should of seen the potato chip fight we had the other night. It was ridiculous. He comes roaring over to my little bedroom “office” and proceeds to begin to yell about the fact that I had left only a handful of chips in the bag. I calmly held out the phone as he is waxing (loudly) philosophical about the state of our lack of potato chips, and asked him if he would like to say “Hello” to my mother. I have never seen someone shut up so fast. if I wasn’t so pissed off at him for acting like a deranged child, I might have laughed. In retrospect it is amusing as hell.
At least some of my time can be salvaged, he tends to retreat back to bed to watch the morning news. So, I get some of my time back. But, it won’t be long before he decides it is “time to get something done” and he’ll be up and mobile, and complaining about why his computer is acting funny. It is simple, and I have told him time and time again, his motherboard is 8 years old, it has got to give someday, and now is the time.
I am just irritated because he has taken to waking up well before he ought to (he goes to bed in the wee hours of the morning), and ruining that comfortable sense that I have of being the only soul that is awake. I am sure if you have ever woken before the sun is up, you know that comfortable and warm sense of security that is like being wrapped in a warm blanket, or a really nice thick robe.
I really do not like starting the day irritated. It just makes everything cold and prickly as opposed to warm and fuzzy. That, and I have no idea if his little problem with depression is coming out to play today because when it does he acts like an asshole (pardon my french). But, then, again so do a lot of people who are in denial of a mental condition. On the bright, I know what’s wrong with me. I have bipolar disorder, and quite frankly, I do not care who knows it.
I am moody, but I think I am swinging up because I have been getting by on a lot less sleep than usual, and I am having what is called “flight of ideas,” and I am starting but not finishing things. This may not be good. Hmmm… we’ll have to wait and see.
Why can I hear the TV from all the way across the house?